the best things in life are free,
but you keep them for the birds and bees!
i want CRACK WHORES!
that what i want!
y'see the glorious thing about a CRACK WHORE is that you always know exactly where you stand with them. geographically speaking that would of course normally be 'directly behind them with a short, sturdy length of rope' but that's not quite where i was going with this. no, i mean that you always know where you are with a CRACK WHORE as they'll always do whatever they can to get yer money off you, including slitting yer throat if it'll speed the process up at all (it is for this exact reason, in fact, that the government has recently started producing a new brochure for Doctors surgeries and Family Planning clinics entitled "CRACK WHORES: 'Protection' sometimes means more than just a hundred, thousand little reasons") giving them an almost reassuring sense of predictability.
unlike CRACK WHORES, however, so many things in this world are unclear. insubstantuality is a fear of mine, much like the reverse-parking although to a lesser degree, and yet i appear to be damned to vapidness for all my dark days in spite of myself.
one simple, clear action is required. just one.
well alright, there's no doubt an awful lot more than just one that is 'required' in any real sense but as i said so few sentences ago, vagueness is a curse and a means to an end in and of itself. do the ends justify those means, however...? fuck off, like i'd tell you you fucking CRACK WHORE double agent...
again, we appear to be getting nowhere fast.
is there a sure fire way to de-rail this unfortunate course of events? is a man truly in control of his own destiny? is slothenliness nature or nuture?
in other words, can i blame all this on my mother? and if not, why not...!?!
in parting: wear shoes in all instances seen as appropriate and at least 50% of those considered less so and you will almost unerringly avoid stubbing your toe. this is crucial in avoiding groinal strains in later life, though only three doctors in the entire world claim to know why and none of them are making with the answers, the goddamned elitist bastards... Danny? pass me the secerteurs please, i'm gonna have another nice, friendly little 'chat' with my hypocratically-if-much-in-need-of-being-taken-down-a-peg-or-two minded friend here...
p.s: CRACK WHORES are awesome. OMGGZZZ LIK THEYR SOOOOOOO HOT INNIT!!!!!11!!1!!!!1111!!I LUVZ EM I DOS ROFLOLMAOBRBH+KXXXXXXXX11!!!!!!!!1!!111!!!!1
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4 comments:
Hello. Good night and chill out next day on the weekend eh? Still recovering though, oh my head, I feel so confused...
Sorry if I was extra cheeky to your sis about the whole 'are you sure you shouldn't be somewhere else doing something useful rather than sat here enjoying yourself?' thing, but I feel I was justified; I mean, that's the kind of nagging usually reserved for the misses isn't it? And it seems you're getting it from both sides these days(ooer). I do feel sorry for you mate, you don't seem to be doing what YOU really want to do. Am I right? Now tell me that the misses reads this blog and I've got you in trouble...
nah, though she was fairly pissed at you over it. i think she misinterpretted what you saying though as a slight against her and Sassa for wanting me to fail. i think that was more andy sticking his nose in and confusing everyone again but can't be helped.
all's well.
Yeah, that's a fairly serious misinterpretation there! What the hell was Andy saying to make her think that? I was merely suggesting that you didn't need nagging by anyone, least of all your Sister.
he started doing his whole "let's take this joke in entirely the wrong direction coz i've joined in half way through" scenario as per normal and was saying about how i should be left to my devices so that everyone can say 'i told you so' when six months down the line i'm bankrupt.
i have the sneaky suspition that he was trying to make a joke in the middle ground to cover both your and S/H's arguements and just successfully made everything seem a lot worse.
coz he's a twat...
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