man seriously, i'm sat here in work, bored to tears. i can actually feel what little intellect i have left after so many years of neglect and abuse slowly ebbing away and my feelings on the matter are much like a coma victims feelings toward his feet; they're still there, more or less, he just can't really do anything with them all that much.
that's right, slowly but surely my mind is becoming null and void and i feel no urge to display anything other than ambivalence toward the fact.
this scares me slightly but at the same time i wonder if this would be some strange kind of release to have my grey matter leak from my head in a horrifying if aesthetically pleasing fashion via any convenient orifice. so wrong and yet feeling so right and involving orifices... sounds like kiddie porn, Mr Glitter... perhaps you'd like to follow us...?
perhaps not, however...
i ask only this of you, gentle Reader: do not judge me as a man but rather as the beast i truly am, languid and sullen here in my telephonic cave. capable of crushing the skull of any rival with my bare hands if only i could somehow find the energy.
i enjoy a short whimsy that customers are like wolves or some other pack hunter, constantly lurking, ready to spring and rip throats and hamstrings and line rental discounts at the slightest show of weakness. then i realise this is farcical as the average wolf would undoubtedly best any of our customers in a battle of wills with barely a strenuous conceptualisation. no doubt the wolf would be in possession of a firmer grasp of the english language than the average customer as well...
indeed, as i understand it, wolves are actually impeccably polite creatures on the whole with an unchallengeable sense of punctuality. they are never mean nor unnecessarily brutish beyond time spent 'on the job' and even then many animals have been heard to comment that their death was handled with compassion and all due diligence. how reliable dead animals are as a source of character judgement is, however, still entirely unproven as of this time.
one day soon i shall return. when i do, duck and cower under your desk you curr... it may just save your worthless hide...
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