i believe the appropriate terminology is "n00b"...?

evenin' all.

so anyway, i'm new to this 'ere blogging lark with the exception of the odd rant on the good ol' Spazz so i'm not really sure where this'll go (if anywhere) but hey-ho (as The Ramones would've said), let's go...

a short introduction:

grinderno1 was born under the suitably bland categorization of 'British (White)' and has maintained this as the status quo with a dogged persistence ever since with the exception of two entirely separate and arguably rather ill advised 'Negro' phases of which, to this day, he is still deeply embarrassed and apologetic for. well, he apologises for the first instance as this was entirely accidental and in poor taste. the second, however, was intricately pre-planned and utterly hilarious to him and henceforth is still a source of great pride.

considered almost dangerously intelligent from a very early age he then proceeded to utterly disappoint all expectations by proving to be of actually slightly less than average intellect and has proven to be of almost zero worth to the general public at large. some people maintain the idea that this is merely an act, to fool the masses into a false sense of security before he lands his killer blow, raising himself to the godlike status he so clearly deserves and casting all into a life of slavery and devotion as befitting those who could ever doubt him. grinderno1 himself is not one of these people...

a happy if humble childhood spent running free in the wastelands and forests of this, our green and lascivious land was followed by an unpleasant and angry adolescence which (whilst painful for all concerned at the time) would eventually prove to be exactly the grounding he required when he entered (and subsequently won) the prestigious Worlds Biggest Cunt competition in late march 2002, hosted in the lavish surroundings of The Hoof and Garter pub in Greenwich. indeed, to this day, he is the only non-French entrant to make it past the semi-finals... it was also during this nightmarish teen hood that he would be introduced to the glory that is a guitar amp with the gain turned up to 10. this is very important and we will return to this later. please feel free to take notes if you wish as there will be a pop-test at the end.

an unfortunate zepellining (go on then, you spell it!) accident in his mid-twenties would temporarily rob him of his sight, leading to a state of incredibly over-sensitized spatial awareness that had been entirely beyond him before the accident. this state was, however, only temporary and his sight was almost entirely restored shortly after a brief stint in hospital. the entire situation only had two consequences: an abject inability to capitalise correctly and an unreasonable fear of reverse-parking. to this day he will still not discuss anything to do with the accident or it's lasting repercussions although many believe that this is simply him 'milking it a bit more than it's worth'.

now in his late twenties, grinderno1 has seen many things in his lifetime although he has achieved surprisingly few. he is inordinately proud of his abject lack of activity although some people again believe this is all part of his ploy. grinderno1 is one of these people although only as he feels he should want to believe in something intangible and refuses to take the populist option of believing in a distant yet omnipotent father figure who's only real claim to superiority is that he can make a throne balance on a cloud.

more to follow. there is no quiz.

if you believe the above, you just failed the quiz. apparently there wasn't a spoon either and the daft fucker still ended up getting himself offed by the dude in the suit, tart...