yes indeed you fools, stay back! for i am ill...
i have conjunctivitis. basically it means every time i get up in the morning i panic and have Page Street flash backs as my eyes are totally sealed with crusted gunge and i fear Brian has been sleep-wanking again...
fortunately not, it's just eye-pus. lovely. i didn't even know that happened!
long and short of that then is i have procured a few days of work. this may sound good however yesterday i was verging on suicide where anything interesting i could do to pass the time required straining my eyes (TV, computer etc) and hence was a no-no and let's face it, there's only so much masturbation one man can do in a day.
it's a lot but still, it's only so much...
still better than work no doubt you're all thinking except that you forget: i work for cunts. sick pay? I'm sorry... what is this... sick pay you speak of...? that plus the fact that H's car spectacularly failed it's MOT the other day and now Ebs (our gorgeous black Persian kitty) is very poorly so hence requiring honking great bloody vet bills all over the shop.
if it weren't for my astonishing good looks and dazzlingly charismatic personality I'd be having a real bad patch at the moment...
oh right, yeah.
shit.
still listened to lots of Dead Kennedys and Black Flag to make myself feel better so that's something at least.
i mean dude seriously, i don't wanna point out how much more 'core than you i am but i will if you force me to...
oh right, so you're not gonna force me to...? oh, err... well in that case can i just mention how 'core i am in passing then?
no?
oh. oh alright then, i won't (I'm loads more 'core than you are).
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